A Love Story is Born!

I have traversed the seven continents and have crossed seven seas to find the truth behind why most of the perfect women in Kolkata date almost all the wrong kind of men in this city. Why the smart and beautiful Bengali girls are going out with the slimy haired, cigarette smoking, sling-bag flaunting 'Ekta chumu dao na, shonamuni?'-waale Bengali boys. And as you would have it, I have emerged enlightened in this quest. All I needed was to travel by a mini-bus from the archaic Howrah station to the upscale Park Street on a rainy Wednesday afternoon.

After seeing off my uncle, aunt and my cutest, youngest cousin at the Howrah station, I got on the relatively empty bus and found myself a place in the second last seating by the window. Before the bus could find a way out through the routinely heavy traffic that follows once you get on the Howrah bridge, I found the entire bus filled. Including of course, the seat behind me, where sat a relatively young man in his early twenties. Quite possibly of my age.

Suddenly he spoke up on the phone.

Oh but wait, before I start, I will need to call him something. And to make some sense of the one-sided conversation that I overheard from the seat in front of him, I will instinctively complement his verbal locutions on the other side.

Mr. Desperate speaks, 'Hello yes, I had called you the other night and also had sent a message the following morning. Did you receive it okay? Well, I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am to have called you at such late hours into the night. I'm sure you'd be pretty annoyed that day. The thing is, I intended to call a friend of mine, but accidentally ended up dialing your number. Yes, it indeed was a wrong number.' How is that for a conversation starter?!

Mr. Desperate: 'Achha, may I know from where you are speaking?'
Ms. Despairing: 'Some lane in Bagha Jatin..' (Too much information for a wrong number conversation, innit?)
Mr. Desperate: 'Wow! That's some coincidence. I live exactly two lanes after yours!'
Ms. Despairing: 'Oh how wonderful! But how did you get my number?'
Mr. Desperate: 'Arrey I went on to call a friend but dialed your number instead. Purely accident! I swear, had no idea! I was also a bit sleepy.'

Something told me he wasn't being quite truthful. And I've got a fairly good idea on how he may have come across her number. Read this post here, for further information on that matter.



Mr. Desperate: 'Achha tumi, sorry aapni ki koren?' May I know, what you do?
Ms. Despairing: 'Something in Netaji Nagar College for Women.'
Mr. Desperate: 'Oh tahole toh tumi amar theke onek khani junior! Aamar post-graduation hoye geche, ekhon aami arekta Masters course korchi..' Oh then you're much junior to me, as I've completed my post-graduation but have been pursuing Masters in some other course nowadays.

And I call myself an academic! The horror, the horror..

Mr. Desperate: 'Achha aami ki tomake tui bole shombodhito korte paari? (my sister would stumble repeatedly at that 'shombodhito' word) If you don't mind of course..' He asked if he could consider the whole addressing one another with mutual respect, and bring it down by a few notches. Ms. Despairing seemingly relented.

Mr. Desperate: 'Tomar naam ta jaante pari ki?' May I please know your name?
Ms. Despairing: 'Pooja Something.'
Mr. Desperate: 'Tumi ki Bagha Jatin'ei thako, Pooja? Na aami ekhane thakina, aamar bari West Bengal'e..' His saying that his home is in West Bengal was weird, as where else does he think Kolkata is anyway?! I must have missed something there.
Ms. Despairing asked something related to his work to which Mr. Desperate gave a controversial answer, 'Actually I'm an actor, I was on my way to the studio right now. Night shoot ache toh, tai!' But.. but.. didn't he claim to be an academic, only moments ago?

Mr. Desperate: 'Achha tomake ki aami friends korte paari?' Even though it is seemingly getting harder to translate with each sentence, our desperate friend wanted to 'friends' her - whatever that meant! 'Na jodi mind na koro tahole..' As long as you're okay with that.
Ms. Despairing: 'Yo, I do remember an account on Orkut, homie!' That's me, using my imagination.
Mr. Desparate: 'Tomake aami facebook'e ekta account khule dichhi! Email id ta bolo toh dekhi?' This guy, whom Ms. Despairing is talking for the first time, owing to a supposed accidental call from him, is going to create a brand new Facebook account for her. Him for her. Boy, we have a lady-killer! I wonder where it went wrong for me, when I was growing up?!

I detached myself from encroaching further into other people's privacy after a while. Enough of tomfoolery on everyone's part anyway. But just before I got down from the bus, I overheard the crème de la crème of the entire conversation.

Mr. Desperate says 'Tomar facebook'e password iloveyoupooja dilam kintu, dekhe niyo!' Would you believe it if I say, he just asked her out covertly?! It was hard on my ears too.
Demonstrating some very foxy skills, mister Smarty-pants asked out yet another Bengali girl-next-door and of course, the girl said yes! They always do in these parts of the country. Indeed, they're meeting tomorrow after the girl is done with her college. Maybe a Jhaal-muri here, and some Gol-gappas there. Senseless love blooms once again, in the dingy lanes of Kolkata.

Strangle me someone, strangle me! Please! I hereby welcome catharsis with open arms, as an equal..

18 comments:

  1. Where do these girls's sensibility come from?? lol
    No matter what you write, you always make it a point to describe the travel medium and people around, in the best possible way.
    Eavesdropping is fun, while such hopeless romeos are on calls!! (personal experience!)

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    1. Yeah well, I don't know why I do that! Doesn't dampen the overall effect of the post now, does it? BTW Do share the personal experience.. :) Would love to hear all about it!

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  2. People do wear their heart on their sleeves, don't they?

    I loved the way you wrote this and I am really glad that you are over your block. :)

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    1. Oh, you don't say! Thank you, Diptee di.. :) I'm glad myself.

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  3. beautifully written,well crafted story or something i must say..the gem was "friends"korte pari and that academic cum actor moment..way to go bro..btw this is a common tradition here,ask anyone who studied in kolkata or westbengal..probably a slip was there,where u wote mr.despairing instead of ms..carry on,,its a delight for us mere mortals

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    1. Arey Santanu da! Welcome, welcome.. Long time! Yeah, I corrected that slip - got confused! But it wasn't a story I crafted, 'maayer dibbi' I overheard it! :D

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  4. Arey Santanu da! Welcome, welcome.. Long time! Yeah, I corrected that slip - got confused! But it wasn't a story I crafted, 'maayer dibbi' I overheard it! :D

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  5. Oh, you don't say! Thank you, Diptee di.. :) I'm glad myself.

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  6. Yeah well, I don't know why I do that! Doesn't dampen the overall effect of the post now, does it? BTW Do share the personal experience.. :) Would love to hear all about it!

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  7. No, please don't remind me of that bus journey. Only somehow I kept under wraps, my dogged impulse to kick that fellow!

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  8. Hehehe Ms Despairing? It all sounds even cuter in Bengali. :P
    And you don't worry no, by the time girls are done with such losers, they know what they don't want. Then they will come for the nice guys like you. :P
    BTW, nice cover of Hallelujah.

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  9. But then, what's the use of waiting for the girl when you're approaching the 40s? The way things are happening, 10 years down the line my nephew might just approach me and claim that his girlfriend from LKG (or the hotter one from UKG, with 12 piercings on her face) is better than the one I'm hanging out then! :P Nope, I'm happy with the marginally hipster girlfriend I have now!
    And thank you, glad you liked it. Not my best, but good enough. :)

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  10. Hotter one from UKG? Lol! Sigh, I'm petrified about the coming generations of sons and daughters. Anyhow, marginally hipster! Hahaha cute. :)

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  11. The next generation needs hipster moms like our Diptee di. Check out her blog here - http://dipteeraut.blogspot.in/ - I love reading about this mom-and-son duo! :) and I try to learn occasionally..

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  12. Alright, this will come handy later in life I suppose. :)
    And and since blog-sharing is not nerdy anymore, you can check out my blog. http://wordsraining.blogspot.in/ :D

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  13. Aah, I was looking for this link! :) Will read the posts later tonight. BTW your ABOUT section on the top-right links back to the blog - Is there any place on the page, where we get to meet/read about the author of the blog? Unless you write anonymously that is?

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  14. It's the template! I love it so much, but the About and Archive buttons don't work. I will fix it soon. :)

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  15. The template is indeed good. Private journal or that secret diary kind! :)

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