A Bombete in Bombaayi

As I celebrated the new year's eve on train this year, I found myself among a band of babblers for company. It consisted of a precocious girl of 18, her dad: by the way he spoke things, probably he's almost the same age as his daughter, and the mom: more than double the age of everyone else's combined. There were others too. Another dad and mom in their mid 50s, without the children.. and a Marhwari boy, caught in between emotions ranging from a pitiful 'AAAAH!' to an embarrassed 'Ooh!'

You're probably wondering why I didn't take up a flight. But one should know that I find airway journeys, at the zenith of the most boring things to be done in the modern world. And you wouldn't ask, if you'd have read my earlier train experiences here and here.

So, where was I? The girl's family, yes, was the kind we see in game shows, reality TV shows and somewhere among the spectators of the cookery shows where the hostesses exude doctrines of feminism, yet hold the kitchen-knife the wrong way. They made it clear in the very beginning that they have 'celebrity' friends. They go jogging in the morning, with a famous comedian from the Bengali movies. They go shopping to the same place as a Bengali superstar's cousin's manservant goes. They either have tea with, or share the same brand of tea with some worn out actress. And perhaps they go to sleep, dreaming about their daughter at the helm of the Bong glitterati - the only thing, I didn't make fun of, in my head.

The Marhwari boy was in two minds.

What initially appeared to be a good chance to hit on the girl, soon turned out the other way around. The mom was either hitting on him, or she was seriously considering getting her daughter to marry him, before the train reaches Mumbai CST!

'Yoo are so yong, and still yoo aarn so maach!' 'You are so young, and yet you earn so much!' The mom was visibly impressed, and it was genuinely pretty impressive - the guy, of my age, was in his father's 'saree' business and was out on an inspection of their stores in Mumbai suburbs. He smiled cautiously, to the lady's remark and was mildly embarrassed all the same. He made quick glimpses at the girl, who was not at all bothered by the hype her mom had built around this boy, and went on fondling her religiously well-kept hair.

The girl had been to the washroom several times with a vanity bag under her arm and had put on her twentieth layering of lipstick by now. I managed to inadvertently put on her perfume, by merely using the washroom after she had been there last. She had loudly asked me what I do and if I'm texting my girlfriend on the phone right now. I blocked most of the thoughts in my mind, and politely told her what I do, as the words like 'biotechnology', 'research', 'dissertation' totally passed through her. I told her that I was chit-chatting on Whatsapp with my sister, but she had never heard of Whatsapp. Her mom was not interested in me anyway. the moment I mentioned Ph.D. her eyeballs grew double in size, and no sooner that I mentioned about the time it takes to establish oneself in this field, they shrunk back.

I settled to chat with the chai-wala, sooner than I thought.

...

Its been three weeks that I have joined a lab in IIT Bombay, and as you can imagine, I don't have time to do anything else. I miss my friends, miss the company, miss everything about college. But then this new scenario is not bad either. Except the fact that my senior PhD scholar says that soon I'll learn the most important thing about electrophoretic gels - they always disappoint! But I won't be describing my work here, lest you guys should stone me to death.

Coming from VIT University to IIT Bombay, one of the big changes I expose myself to, is that there is no in-time and that the girls are allowed inside our rooms till 10 in the night. So with just four days into my new room, I decided to actually get some proper dinner instead of lazing it out in the lab till late in the night. So I ran to make it before the mess closes. After dinner, I was so tired and hot, that I took off my clothes and sat down just in my boxers.

My roommate suddenly enters the room with his girlfriend, and I stand there, turned to stone. That ass and his girlfriend smiled at me amusingly. And after what seemed like ages later, the guy spoke up 'well as long as you're not naked..' I scrambled for some clothes, awkwardly while they smiled back.

...

I notice a sudden surge of hits on my blog and a couple of new readers too! My heartiest thanks to you all. May God bore you more and navigate your webpage to stop on mine, and hopefully allow me to keep your day amusing. Pray I get some more time off to write sooner, ciao.

12 comments:

  1. haha :P nice! u shudve put a pic of urself in those boxers here :P lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is white in colour, with little black pantomime figures, with their hands outstretched, drawn on it.. then imagine a bear inside it! You get a picture of what it'd been like, now.. :P

      Delete
  2. trains are certainly better.... if you have ppl like these to entertain..... haven't had many but yea, one experience of meeting interesting ppl ... yea, ladki bhi thi.... on the a journey like this.... but i like the way you paint a really colorful picture..... cause of the same i feel sad for the Marwari guy.... but dude.. seriously didn't need the picture of your shorts ther..... :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Suffer man, suffer! :P And thank you, if you like my 'colourful' description.. par co-passenger ka ladki hone ka experience, akele mein maza nahi aata! Was missing my friends there, guess you would know that..

      Delete
  3. Your sense of humor just got you a loyal reader.
    Very entertaining write-up! Thumbs up!!

    Dhara
    http://mycactusdress.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I love you too.. :P thank you for being so awesome as to read and follow my blog! I checked out your blog, you got some entertaining stuffs there but pray I get some more time to read all of them properly.. All I read was about your roommates, for something like that, I cannot miss.. CIAO! :)

      Delete
    2. Thank you for the quick read. I am sure you would like other stuff too.
      Your header pic is EPIC!!
      Stay Blo-nnected!! ;-)
      Au revior

      Delete
    3. You just got yourself a 'fatwa' issued by the girl in that header picture.. she's been telling me to remove it or rather, 'correct' it for ages now! :P I will surely check out other stuffs in your blog soon.. Au revoir!

      Delete
  4. This was one entertaining read. ^_^
    I prefer train journeys over flights too, for the same reason more or less!
    And the wide variety of people i meet crazes me.

    I met this guy three years back on a train. Bangalore to Delhi. Long journey it was. We're best friends today. Strange, no? :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, that is not weird at all.. but it would've been, in my usual case! I remember this train journey long time back - there was one girl who was a year older to me, my sister, and a 16 year old me - travelling as co-passengers on a train (of course, our parents were there too!) We had an amazing night, all 3 of us! I don't remember what we chatted about, but we were talking till very late in the night.. had we cellphones in those days, I know for sure, we'd have been in touch! :/

      Delete
  5. Love your style! I need to read all of your blog.. I bet it's equally amusing! Thanks to Ibl that I could discover this gem of a blog... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sengupta (just decided to call you that!) I'm very glad to have you as a teammate in IBL.. Do give all of it a read! I'll do the same with yours..

      Delete