The Crush that never Was..

‘I can’t see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you are with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life’

Don’t look at me like that! That’s one extremely sweet song by The Beatles. (And now imagine me, puppy dog eyed!) There, you’re doing it again… This is a special song – for it’s the one that was always on ‘auto-play’ whenever I came across her.

Her is (rather, was) one particularly tall, straight haired, fair, dark-eyed girl in my college. Was-? No, she isn't dead or anything like that, she just passed out (in a non-medical 'passing out' sort of way) - a senior, from an unrelated department. Always the one to be noticed dressed only too nicely: simple, nothing flashy, yet trendy. Earthly, yet bright colored kurtis on a pair of dark colored leggings usually. She had a mole on her nose, to the right side. Small one, but prominently pretty. Jet black eyes, with a sharp gaze about it. Even her teeth were set too perfectly! But the thin crazy streak of blood-red color in her hair was the first one that caught my attention.


A friend calls me out early in the morning on a Sunday, ‘Deep, come to the campus and get me your biochem class notes. I missed Friday’s class!’ I don’t get it how confidently the smart-ass (yes, they're almost a league now!) call me early in the morning and demand something that requires me to brush, get dressed and walk all the way into the campus just to deliver one notebook! But I never have complained…

‘Meet my friend here!’ says she as soon as I reached. My eyes were still semi-closed so I took my time to notice the other person along with her.

I pulled a face at her, for I think I just sleep-walked my way from my hostel room to where I stand right now. And then it hits me like a rock - a streak of red flowing hair. Why Hello, good morning!!


My mind raced. It immediately started back calculating. Its just been about 3 days that the fresher batch have come to college. This one has to be a fresher! Yeah, or else I must’ve noticed for sure. Aah, the red streak within jet black free-flowing straight hair is a concentration breaker! And how does our mutual friend know her from? Must be from back home! My mind’s still pacing, as she’s still waiting for me to be polite and reply back a ‘hi’ to her.

Mental bubbles started appearing: Keep it cool, Don’t smile too much Creep! Damn it, should’ve brushed longer, is my breath bad? KEEP IT COOL.. BE COOL!

‘Hi!’ she repeated again, smiling cautiously – Trust me, BEST SMILE EVER!

‘And this is Deep, the creep we told you about..’ said our mutual friend, introducing me to her.

‘..Just the good things I hope?’ I said, ‘These girls won’t tell you of the good in me! But I’m as good as a Galaxy bar..’ - WHAT-THE-FUNK was that! - ‘that is, if you like Galaxy bar, I can be Mars too..’ - I should've really tried shutting up by then! - ‘However girls tend to like Bounty better, I think..’ - I SHOULD IMPLODE! - ‘..or Milky Way?’

Who the heck was this 'stranger' talking in through me?

From there, I think I went on telling her about the professors she’s going to encounter, how to tackle a few crazy ones, how is the general trend of the campus - which clubs are 'happening', about the festival time, the hangout places, booze-able places, and even smooch-able places etc. Made clear that if she needs any help about anything, Deeptiman (i.e. myself!) is her man.

I’m unwilling to discuss the next few moments where she told that she’s A YEAR SENIOR TO ME! All I remember is that I stared straight at my friend - almost wishing I were Cyclops from X-Men - who was laughing her fat-ass off! Couldn't you have given me a tip off earlier, ass?


Crushes change you.

You become a total joker. I remember how I would catch a glimpse of the red hair on my way to a lecture, and stay Mr. Smiley-Face all the way to class, and for long after that too. I would change my routes accordingly, to do what? Talk? Nope! Too chicken for that, I’d rather just stare from a galaxy far far away. You didn't interpret it as ogle and drool, did you?

And did she know? Hell, I don't know about all that, and I didn't care! Crushes aren't meant to stay, they're just meant to temporarily disrupt your system. Its an aptly named word. It crushes emotions if allowed to take control and is rather fun, if taken lightly. Thank God for my girlfriend, I'd rather stick to the latter plan. And thank God for me, she doesn't mind.

Hell, she must have more crushes than I do!


  1. Ahhhh... can i say i know the feeling too? :P though since mine was a school time crush, it wasnt as... DEFINED as this i guess. but the reactions were pretty much the same :D
    had fun reading this. some lines really stand out, some made me smile :D really had a good time reading this!!

    1. :) laugh it up at my misfortune, you!
      glad you liked it..