My friend Ronny..

Heylo kind readers! I'm back with a brand new story - this is the story of my friend Ronny, and his relationship with Anushka.

I know my friend Ronny from the sad old days of my school hostel life.. We had remained friends, for we were both survivors from our own little Vietnam.. Splitting our own ways after college, he remained in Bengal, while I came down south to Chennai.. kept in touch 'on' and 'off' which is how I came to know that he had got a girlfriend named Anushka sometime around December of 2007.. And he wanted me to meet her as soon as I could get back to Kolkata.. Show off!

My friend Ronny's girlfriend turned out to be a pretty one. And I could totally relate to why he liked to stick around close, most of the time.. She had a large, lumbering and square shoulder (why what else could you think?) and a sweet voice that told me she had years of Rabindra-Sangeet practice in the evenings of her childhood till she came up to her teen ages and rebelliously relieved herself from all the singing. Whenever she opened her mouth to squeak.. sorry, read speak.. I could almost imagine 10 beady eyed squirrels sitting on her head, chorusing harmoniously, much like the chipmunks in that movie I saw the other day..

My friend Ronny had remained religiously faithful to his girlfriend. I was happy for him though she struck to me as clingy and too.. too.. err, now whats the word.. umm.. oh yeah, a complete CONTROL FREAK?! Sorry for the 'labelled' description, but if you'd go hanging out with this couple, you'd probably get what I mean.. I once went on a double date with them, and the meeting certainly fed ideas in my date's brain..

In case you're wondering, that date didn't last long..

So one fine day when my friend Ronny calls to inform me that they broke up, ('Deep.. I have a sad news for you..') I didn't exactly ask 'why' which he definitely didn't let pass for the next half hour on the STD phone call. When I finally asked him, he took another hour to describe what I already had thought of.. 'So what do you think, old friend?'

I woke up from my slumber. Is he asking my opinion? Shit, OMG OMG! What do I do, what do I say? That's a tough one!!
'Well, whatever makes you happy Ron..' Safely played.
'I just don't know yet..'
The call had involved plenty of awkward silences, pregnant pauses and I-could-understand-he's-waiting-for-me-to-speak moments..

However, a month later he calls back to announce that he's back with her again.. ('Deep.. I have a good news for you!') I just knew the bastard was grinning on the other side.

But even The Almighty wouldn't have scripted, (the great and freaky) Nostradamus wouldn't have foreseen and certainly my friend Ronny wouldn't have thought what happened next.. They broke up 13 times! And patched up back on, 12 times.. It was all too intense for me. I started waiting for his phone call, full of anticipation.. Each time he'd call and tell 'I have a sad news, dude..' OR 'I have a good news, bro!' depending on the breaking/making up part.. It usually happened a week apart.

I think it was the 6th time when I asked him to omit 'good' or 'bad' from his statements.. they were getting redundant! Maybe he could just say 'I have a news' a practice, he actually adopted..

After the 13th time they fought and broke up, it took a while. The call never came for long.. I started pacing in front of the cellphone, going all bonkers off the thrilled expectancy. Or was it really the end? Finally?

The phone call however came a year later.

'Deep, I have a good news for ya brother!' shit! I thought..
I think I attempted a congratulatory remark, but only air bubbles came out this time initially.. However, when I was done with the phone call, I was definitely grinning.

My friend Ronny has scored!!

Thankfully a new girl this time.. But again, I'm dying of a similar anticipation.. I sat hours staring at the phone today! Sad.. though I'm happy for him..

True story!


  1. hahahahahhahaha..!! the writing is undoubtedly funny.. but the guy?? omg..!! I need to meet him.. 13 times break up????

  2. Yes.. 13 times break up with the same girl!! But honestly to say, he's a nice guy.. and if I am to describe to you, he's fair, cute and chubby kind.. girls usually for for em.. :P NICE GUY, NICE FRIEND! and i'm a nice friend too, by making fun of him.. oops! :P

  3. o....kayy..........nice.......but as u've mentioned ur double date....nd if its d year of 2007.......i think i knew your date!!!.....;P