College and Fraandship..

So, what was the first thing you noticed when you entered college? To me, it has to be the underground concept of trading a girl's phone number.

In the very 1st day of college, every fresher needs to have a new cellphone number - Airtel, Aircel, Vodafone, Idea making the most here, in VIT. And somehow along those process, the number, exclusively that of the girl's, always get transferred to the most comical people I've ever spoken to, or heard of, in my life.



Its been four years now, but girls from my class still get messages and phone calls from pure idiots. Today evening, I called Arpita to come to the lab, to continue with our project, and a weird grainy male voice answered back..

'Alla?' and that was supposed to be a 'Hello?'
After I recovered from the initial shock, 'Hello, umm.. Arpita's there?'
'Who is this?' in a v. threatening manner.
'Umm.. I would be Deep?' name sounds familiar? You don't, however, sound familiar to me at all!
Thankfully then, the typically feminine and saccharine-voice answered back, 'Yes Deep! I'll be there in a jiff!' ..and she hung up quick, after the brief show of courtesy and grace.. (she was with her boyfriend, spending time on the phone was not much of an option..)

I was, however, still recoiled at the thought of her producing that grainy male voice. It almost felt as if I'm talking to some serial-murderer, trying to reason the release of my friend Arpita from his evil yellow clutches.. It was quite a feat.. I was reminded, for a quick while, of Nancy Cartwright, the 'girl' who lends voice to the 'boy' character from The Simpsons - Bart Simpson. (I remember random facts, an old side-effect of being a quizzer! Bear with me..)

Arpita later explained, that she didn't have my number and thus thought this might be another pervert calling to 'do fraandship' and hence the weird (but innovative!) precaution.. Doing fraandship took me back to my first year days, the fun days.. (and then came the lack of enough Credits!)

I surprised myself with the kind of aptitude I developed in college for learning all the most nasty, filthy and lousy words in the process of fending off possible eve-teasers and molesters.. The girls used to pass numbers to us, 'This fellow calls me at 3 in the night and wants to talk to me!' And we would use all our verbal forces of pure filth to get that guy to stop calling. It was almost like a social service..

This went on for quite a few days and that's how I know all the 'bad words' I could use now. It was good exercise, really..

My friends say I have the Martyr's Syndrome, but I think it's my name - Deeptiman (which becomes Deep-the-Man! or even Deepti-Man or again, Deepti-ka-Man!) that, I guess, plays the main factor for me to get calls from the same pure idiots.

Somehow, everyone thinks I'm a girl named Deepti. To them, the 'man' in my name is just as vestigial as is the human tail or my appendix.

I go online and find 8 new Friend Requests, all supposed hunks, looking for some fraandship to do, with me.. Then I used to get the 'Hello beautiful, I'm going to be your best friend!' messages. Once I got this amazingly weird message and fell off the bed laughing..

'Baby Doll, I want to meat you!'

HOW THE HELL WILL YOU 'MEAT' ME, PERV!! I perfected my foul-mouthing skills on that particular guy for the next 3 months.. It was so much fun, he became my best pen-fraand!

17 comments:

  1. Seriously??? guys sent U frand requests??? aww..!!! but as always, I love your writing. p.s. who is this perv??

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    1. thank you! And well, do you remember any of the pervs who'd have msg-ed you in your freshman year? :)

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  2. haha...!!! hilarious!!...good one deep..!!! :-D

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  3. @deeptiman tell u what , I didn't have to deal with pervs in my first year, rather my worst experience with pervs had been in my 3rd year BSc.

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  4. this is so funny!!i remember some male friends would pitch in to help with harrassing guys calling about random stuff at random hours..and i so hate that word "fraandship"...this is indeed funny...

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    1. laugh it up at my misfortunes, you! anyway, thank you.. and i'm glad you found it funny! =)

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  5. bhalo likhechish.... but i don't get how "handsome, muscular hunks" could sent u friend requests n those msgs.... this blog reminded me of my first yr btech days n man, the things we did to ward off these perverts! LoL :P :P

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    1. I'll tell you how.. When it comes to perverts, my name is read in the first 6 letters alone - DEEPTI - by which they conclude that I must be a girl, an aggressive one at that, maybe.. profile pictures make no effect on their cognitive abilities! ('bhai hoga Deepti ka..' is maybe all that they think!) aar dhonnobad! you never told me that you write too..! :)

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  6. This is hilarious.
    I don't think there is any female spared from such frandsheep requests, specially guys with email addresses like 'hotguyraj' or 'coolduderakesh'!!
    Rofl
    But, you being a guy became a victim is super-hilarious.
    P.S. You don't want to keep a girl's picture on the blog or else you'll be getting the Frandsheep requests on your comments too, assuming she is DEEPTI! Anyway, I still remember she was mad at you for doing that to her face.

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    1. I have a very dear friend with an email address like 'doctorsexyrajeev' - a nice guy (although sometimes overtly filmy), he wasn't in his right mind, when he created that! LOL
      P.S. She still is mad! And my god, look at what I did to her nose! :D

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  7. I have a very dear friend with an email address like 'doctorsexyrajeev' - a nice guy (although sometimes he becomes mawkish) - he claims he wasn't in his right mind, when he created that! And I'm gonna go with that for now.
    P.S. She still is mad! And my god, look at what I did to her nose! :D

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  8. thank you! And well, do you remember any of the pervs who'd have msg-ed you in your freshman year? :)

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  9. I'll tell you how.. When it comes to perverts, my name is read in the first 6 letters alone - DEEPTI - by which they conclude that I must be a girl, an aggressive one at that, maybe.. profile pictures make no effect on their cognitive abilities! ('bhai hoga Deepti ka..' is maybe all that they think!) aar dhonnobad! you never told me that you write too..! :)

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  10. thank you! And well, do you remember any of the pervs who'd have msg-ed you in your freshman year? :)

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  11. Thanks Divya! :)

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  12. Hehe. Thank you.

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  13. I'll tell you how.. When it comes to perverts, my name is read in the first 6 letters alone - DEEPTI - by which they conclude that I must be a girl, an aggressive one at that, maybe.. profile pictures make no effect on their cognitive abilities! ('bhai hoga Deepti ka..' is maybe all that they think!) aar dhonnobad! you never told me that you write too..! :)

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